Art De Vany: A New Year

A New Year

December 31, 2005 07:45 PM

The blog, in spite of my low activity of late, went to just over 3.3 million hits. Visitors from 108 countries have been here. Like everything, its been a challenge and a pleasure and I am grateful for the response.

I face a year in which my wife will likely die. I do not worry or obsess over it. I have to face it for her sake, for I am the only chance she has for survival. My realism and Bayesian outlook is a great source of strength. I am totally grounded in the reality of her situation and her disease. I have read nearly everything there is to know about it and try to make the best choices for her health. It isn't easy, but I don't feel sorry or cheated. We were together for nearly 50 years and I have loved her since I first met her in Barnes Park at an evening concert. She was sitting on a blanket with her boyfriend and my heart and mind stopped. Even now, when she is stooped and mentally limited, I still love her like I did then.

I may outlive several wives and even children. Who knows? I hope not. But, chance and time determine these things, not my imaginings or hopes.

Both my mother and my wife told me today that they want to go home. An odd coincidence that speaks to their condition; they want to go back to a time and place when they were healthy and happy. I am caught between two women who were so important in my life who are dying. It should be hard, but it isn't if you are a realist. I see the reality and deal with it. No regrets. No pity. No depression. These are things that are not grounded in reality. They involve wishes and hope, not what is.

I spend a lot of time alone now...

as I always have, but for Bonnie's company and the pleasure of my children and grandchildren. As Simon the clever Fellow has told me, the bull elephant moves off from the herd to go into the bush alone. This has always been my path and will still be.

I am, fortunately, my own best company and have no need of others either to ratify my work or to keep me company.

To prepare for the year I have taken up golf more seriously. We live on Coral Canyon golf course and practicing or playing keeps me close to home to respond if I am called to care for Bonnie. Motorcycling takes me too far away. I have helpers watching her whenever I am gone. I am learning the Mike Austin golf swing and reading what I can find of the history of ball striking and the biomechanics of the golf swing. Austin, recently dead at 95, is a Ph.D. in kinesiology and invented a golf swing in his thesis that is techically grounded in the mechanisms of the human body. He did not just copy what worked for others. There is much yet to be learned about the most efficient golf swing and I will enjoy probing the mystery this coming year.

I have ordered DVDs of the Laurel and Hardy movies and of Fawlty Towers, the clever and hilarious show that John Cleese did for BBC. One must laugh and these make me laugh. Come to think of it, the Three Stooges DVD should be part of the collection. My music collection will grow and I will finally decide on a CD/DVD/SACD player to put into my Krell/Gallo system.

Churchill's works are on the way. I have David Hovey's book and a book on Sala's architectural works ordered. I think I have found an architect for our Moab house, which I hope my wife lives to plan with me. And a collection of Shakespeare's plays. Along with a couple of Gary Marcus' books on brain function.

I am teaching my grandson, Corey, how to ride his motorcycle and to hit a golf ball and a baseball. And to love knowledge and science.

It will be a great year and a sad one.

· Everything

Comments

Posted by: Flower Online at September 12, 2006 2:11 AM

Yes yours blog very interesting.

Best regards, Serg

Posted by: Serg at June 5, 2006 3:56 AM

Hi Art,

Thank you for all your posts this year.

Best wishes to you, your family, to now, and what is.

Hone Watson

Posted by: Hone Watson at January 1, 2006 3:37 PM

A New Year

December 31, 2005 07:45 PM

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